he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
