did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
