just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
