She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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