I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I need water and some morals
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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