i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
