Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You have to summon your inner elephant
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
