i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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