You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Bring me that man meat
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
