I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
