at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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