woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
