hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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