I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
