no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
