Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
