Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
