note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize