I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
