what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
