You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
