I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
