you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
