So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
