He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
