How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
