He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
