Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
