I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
