just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
How does it feel to date your dad?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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