There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
