why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
