Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
