he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My breasts were aching with rage.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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