Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
