Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
