..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
