I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
