He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Randomize
