Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
