Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
