We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
