Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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