Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
