I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Congratulations! We have a period
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
