dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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