Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
