she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
