Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
never play flip cup with pint glasses
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
