everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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