i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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