Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
