I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My dick has a subreddit
I enjoy the company of your penis
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
