What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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