Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
