Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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