I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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