I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize